Friday, June 24, 2005

'Tis the Season

Shopping season has opened once again Texas. Herds of females roam shopping malls in search of the perfect bargain. Once a year, those bargains come tax free. Many herds roam shopping malls and department stores with their weary companions and restless children. Next week, many of their young will return to school, much to the relief of their parents. However, shopping season will continue well into Christmas until tax season begins.
Shopping the malls, the female’s savage instinct kicks in at the sign of a good deal. They will push, kick, and fight to be the first or the last to get their hands on items that are essential to their survival. Among them are dresses, shoes, and clothes for their young. Seeing the way some children behave on these shopping trips reminds me why certain species eat their young.
The young females wish to wear clothes that will make them attractive to the males, while their mothers remind them that this is school shopping season. With many schools reverting to stricter dress codes and even uniforms, skimpy halter tops and tight pants have no place in the schools. Browsing through the many racks of bargains, I can never find one satisfying enough.
I have been dragged on yet another fruitless shopping expedition in suburbia. Last week’s haul was better, but nothing could top last year’s hunt. Shoes and jeans were at their lowest prices, and tax free to boot. Texas has begun a tax free holiday as a break for its overworked and under paid residents.
Many shoppers come across Texas’ borders hoping to snare a few good bargains. However, the tax free hunt has its limits. Items over one hundred dollars are not exempt. Most clothing items, school uniforms, shoes, and even undergarments come tax free, but that flat screen plasma television will not.
As the tax free weekend ends, the shopping season reaches a lull. Many retailers are planning their holiday shopping strategies. Many begin early by displaying Christmas items before Halloween in hopes of getting shoppers to look ahead. I have seen long lay away lines snake through discount department stores as families prepare for Christmas.
Holiday shopping season opens after many have gorged themselves on turkey and trimmings. Shopping malls are packed with people standing shoulder to shoulder. The females become more savage in the holiday season as they hunt for the elusive bargain. Many will push, trample, even fist fight to get their hands hot holiday items. Males tend to hesitate and avoid the fray until the last possible minute. While it is a smart strategy, many of the sale racks have been picked over by vigilant shoppers.
As the shopping expedition comes to a close, I hear the rustle of plastic bags. Glancing behind me, I see a herd of females rushing toward the exit. I narrowly avoid being trampled as they stampede by me. The lead female explains that they are in a rush. Apparently, there is another bigger and better bargain somewhere else. Let the shopping season begin.

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